{5 Dos & Donts to Reconnect with your Kids: DONT #5}

#5: DON’T Lie

This is a tough one. There are times we, as adults, live in worlds of half-truths. Professionally, there may be some times when we stretch the truth to our benefit, but these are justifications that do not work in my relationship with my daughter. Yes, there are times I will define a hard boundary and tell her that I do not want to talk to her about something, but it is critical to never lie. I still remember the day after September 11, when I lied to my daughter about moving back to Denver.  She poked me on my chest and said, “Dad, I love you, so you do not have to lie to me. If you really wanted to go to Denver, by now we would have gone back.”

{5 Dos & Donts to Reconnect with your Kids: DONT #4}

#4: DON’T Make A Child Feel Like Your Second Choice

Your child is not a second choice in life. Yes, work and other commitments in life put pressure on us, and none of us have more than 24 hours in a day. Whenever possible, let your child be your first choice, and don’t be tempted by less important tasks that could take your time away from him or her. Let your child know that he or she is your priority in life.

{5 Dos & Donts to Reconnect with your Kids: DONT #3}

 #3: DON’T Cancel at the Last Minute

Just like there are cancellation policies with hotels and airlines, I too have made my own cancellation policy with my daughter.  No cancellation is allowed within 24 hours of an event without a major penalty.  This is a matter of respecting your child, and is the only way a parent can expect to receive  the same genuine respect in return. Rescheduling on your child’s terms, along with a sincere apology, is the only honorable thing to do. 

{5 Dos & Donts to Reconnect with your Kids: DONT #2}

#2: Don't Bribe

It is tempting to bribe our children when we cannot spend adequate time with them. I look at the toys and teddy bears stacked in my daughter’s room, each one with a story behind it.  In most cases, I missed an opportunity to be with her so I distracted her with gifts so that I would not have to see her disappointment. Today I know that the gift of time is the only bribe that I can use that really works like magic.